Low Carb Peanut Butter Cup Drink Mix
I have a Ring camera, and it’s one of the most convenient tools that I have. One day when I was out running errands, FedEx was in the process of leaving a “sorry we missed you tag” when I popped on and said “thank you” and he left the package for me. It saved me nearly an hour of inconvenience and headache. Then there’s the comical side of things. There is a section on the Ring app called “Neighbors” and no it’s not the British soap opera, but it should be; it’s got more episodes than the series and the kinds of things that people say are unrealistically dramatic. For instance, last night someone posted: “big smelly cat found. Looks like it’s been eating Italian food and Reese’s peanut butter cups.” I immediately went to the Ring app, to see this foul beast. It was a train wreck worth rubbernecking over, yet to my dismay, the post had been deleted. Maybe there was something offensive about it, I don’t know, but it was weirdly specific. It was like Bill on Curious George telling him his rabbit’s names: “that’s Fuzzy, Whitey, Brownie, Spotty, Black Ears, Cotton Tail and Herbert Nininger.” I mean, where did that come from? Why was one bunny singled out with a specific name? Personally I think it was for us adults, because it made the show more interesting. The feral Garfield cat though, how did this poster know it was smelly? Did it smell so bad it could be smelled from a distance?
Normally on Neighbors people say: “beautiful cat found”, “precious puppy spotted on Anywhere Ave”, “sweet brown doggo found”, “looking for this sweet baby’s family” and then there’s “big smelly cat found”. Either the poster doesn’t like animals or they were looking for a laugh. If the OG poster was looking to make someone laugh, they were more than successful. As I got ready for bed that night, I found myself raging with laughter, making me weak in the knees. I was like a rubber chicken, shaking violently with almost unbearable amounts of laughter. It was necessary to find “safety” and close the distance between myself and the floor. I slid my body down the wall, the rough orange peel texture scraping against my bare skin as I slid and the uncontrollable laughter continued. The streams of comedic tears were as wide as the Colorado and tempted to throw off my electrolyte balance. When I set out to brush my teeth, I failed miserably, the toothpaste splattered everywhere. The freshly laundered harem pants I was wearing were covered in fluoride and needed another go in the wash. I laughed so hard and for so long, that it made me feel ill. In an attempt to distract myself from the “big smelly cat”, I tried to think about other things. The path my mind went down was “peanut butter”, since apparently this stinky cat had a penchant for Reese’s. I mean did the poster see the cat go into a mini-mart and slap down some cash in exchange for Reese’s? Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was supposed to be distracting myself. I thought about peanut butter, and wondered what the low carb chocolate drink mix I shared on Instagram would be like, paired with peanut butter.
The next morning, I went into the kitchen and put some of the low carb chocolate drink mix into a Blender Bottle along with some creamy peanut butter. It was a major fail, with the worst texture of all time. So I tried again with powdered peanut butter / peanut flour and that was the ticket. I added a tablespoon of sweetener and I poured sweet cream coffee creamer on top. I created this low carb chocolate drink mix because I don’t like super sweet things and every chocolate drink on this green earth is so sweet, that it makes the glands in the back of my mouth scream for mercy. If you like things sweeter, just add more sweetener to your taste. I recommend drinking with a spoon at hand, so you can stir it now and again to keep it from separating. I also highly encourage you not to mix the creamer in and to sip this low carb drink through the sweetened creamer. Trust me, it becomes more of an experience this way. Because peanut flour doesn’t dissolve, the texture of this drink is a bit gritty, just like a peanut butter cup. If you like things smoother, you might mix this up in a blender. Also, feel free to omit the peanut butter and use as a chocolate drink. Thank you stinky cat and the person that gave this cat a story, you gave me a new drink to enjoy.
Low Carb Peanut Butter Cup Drink Mix
Ingredients
- 3/4 C Cocoa powder
- 1/3 C Powdered non-dairy creamer
- 1 T Sweetener of choice or to taste
- 4 + 8 oz Chilled water unless using as a hot cocoa, then use room temperature water
- Sweetened liquid creamer to taste
- 1 T Peanut flour optional
Instructions
- Sift together cocoa powder and dry non-dairy creamer and store in an airtight container. The other ingredients are added when you make a cup of cocoa.
- To use drink mix: use 1 T of chocolate mix or to taste in 4 oz of water and mix well. If you’re not using a mixer, trust the process and keep mixing, it will come together.
- Add 1 tablespoon of your choice of sweetener and mix.
- Add peanut flour and mix.
- Add ice to mix and pour the rest of the water over the ice. Add sweetened liquid creamer to taste on top.
